Hello this page only for Me!

It's never too late, is it?

To care. 

To make changes. 

Please tell me it is so. 

Please tell me that & this was & is the right direction. 

Need affirmation.  Greetings!

Don't know why i feel i will be the last person still holding on this blog amongst MSP lol 

These few days not feeling very good, sian. Don't know if i need to be comforted by being with people i love or away from people in general. 

Had an anxiety at work and it doesn't help that people says "it's just a small thing" i know you're trying to make me feel better like it's something that can be easily overcome but it makes me feel extra silly that i'm panicking about it. Need to keep the emotions in check man. 

On another note, start to realise i'm buying toto / 4d a little more than previously, isit i turning into auntie? Hahahahaha how would you spend the money if you win say 4Mil? i know of a few people who already plan swee swee HAHAHAH. 

Very tired, mentally and physically. Need a break but no money yo :( 
A break from work, a break from school, a break from life, a break from people :( 

Recently i start to really like 插班生's songs, very nice go taken a listen if you haven't! :) 

Taking my weekends to blog but i realised i haven't really done anything much exciting work, school, cry, sleep, ilight, dinner, drink, work, school, cry, sleep HAHAHAH

Slowly getting that panicky feeling that everyone is doing what they're "supposed to be doing" at our age and i'm nowhere there. Committed to try harder to not feel this way, to be convinced that everyone has their own timeline - no matter whether you believe in fate or achieving this yourself, everyone has their own timeline, their own set of goals, their own idea of happiness. DO NOT be jealous of things others want just because.  I think everyone given up on their blog le right! HAHA

How was everyone's CNY? actually i only did day 1, heng i don't have much relatives or more like they're gathered in one place!

can take day 2 to catch up on assignment / work and nua!

seriously considering my 2018 new york trip, i do wanna do one big one when i turn 25, especially if i'm still single and FREEEEEE haha may Europe2014 repeat itself (the good parts only please! ;) )

Today i saw the ban on the news are tbh it really is pretty worrying.

Work is starting so i think this is probably the last time i'll blog for a last time, the new semester is starting too so things are gotta get pretty cray cray. Dear friends, i may not reply you all on whatsapp but i'm always a call / text away. If you all really need me i'l be there :) :)

& how about your New year resolutions? Are you guys still keeping to it! HEH

Ending off with some quotes that i kept close to heart in the year 2016, hope it inspires you guys in some ways!

"It doesn't work if we think the people who disagree with us are all motivated by malice."
(Barack.O, 2016) 

First post in 2017! 

not sure is it an growing older thing but i realised my temper's getting really bad :( 

How was your Christmas & New Year! Mine was really ordinary so there's nothing much to cover haha ;p

It's super delayed but i got braces last year and i hope can get it off by 2018. Excited to have nice straight teeth! 

In general, i felt that 2016 was quite a screwed up year so i hope the universe does better this year! 

Things i want more of this year :
- more money hahaha
- Nice food
- Good Movies 
- Coffee
- Productive Days
- Vacay 
- Parties 
- Dates 
- Good books 
- Personal Growth

Things i want less of this year:
- Unnecessary Work
- Pimples 
- Fats 
- Panic Attacks 
- Cs in assignments 

That's about it! You'll have a good month ahead, till next time! 

XOXO :)  Can't wait till sept comes along then i have more time to go to the gym, visit granny, maybe look into new xxxx, start studying for exams, spend more time with family. Much excited! 

Do you ever feel like you enter a friendship / relationship then months / years later you're like wait, no stop, you're turning into this person i don't even like anymore. What do you do then? Do you talk about this change with the person involved? Or do you just walk away from the friendship. In case y'all overthink, i'm not talking about my dearest MSP, just a random thought. 


Friday i went to work listening to 987fm and my word, they started playing acoustic songs (not sure if it was anything to do with our former president's state funeral) but it definitely made my day 1000x better. This is one of the songs that they played - one of those songs you used to loved but progressively forgot. Re-kindled my love for it and now i can't stop.  School has been mad. 

Recently a little disillusioned , a little bored with life. -shrugs- 

Been eating so much recently, hard to believe i just had my braces one month ago! :P

What is it about me that discard people easily. When it comes to acquaintances, i'll usually pretend i don't see them when i see them when i'm out in town or something. Is that just me or do other people do it too. Ironically, i am supposedly the more social one in MSP. Once again, difficult to believe. 

major FOMO man, what a shit feeling, Am i really a Gemini? Geminis are people-people. I'm the least people-person ever. 

Haven't drank in awhile, recently realised, As much as i hate to think myself of an alcoholic. Alcohol was my solution. Celebration? Drink! Sadness? Drink! Angry? Drink. But i feel less of that now. Is it a growing old thing? Or is it that i mix less with drinkers and  more with less-stressed. chilled friends? Who knows. People are looking at it like it's a good thing though so i guess that's what it is. 

One more thing i'd like to address. Among friends, what is the bottom line? What are some thing you have said / someone said to you that feel cannot be reversed? Food for thought. 

I. Cannot. Wait for korea trip and Wicked Musical, i will study and work my ass off for this to happen! 

Hello! 

just realised i haven't blogged in the month of may, which has always been my favourite month. :( Must have been too busy! Oh well. 

Excited about the wedding, 3rd wedding in my lifetime! First time being a bridesmaid woohoo! 

Am watching Now You See Me too as i type this, it's rather disappointing to be honest. I think i like the first one because of the theatrics but this one has more plot than anything :/. 

Visited the new campus @ Media Circle, would very much like to share pictures but that would be a social media disaster for our comms team so better not. But it's very very very different from our old campus~ Everything is spanking new, gleaming, but it doesn't exactly feels like home just yet. Very.. corporate, very flashy. We occupy the 12th floor but it's all very open , you don't really get a private space (ah, where do i hide on my bad days?!). Think so much, don't even know if i'll make it work there LOL. 

With all the natural and man-induced terrors going on in the world right now, i feel quite terrified to be doing any travelling at all but this travel lust is not going away. So glad that we have no guns and by far the worst "natural disaster" we may have is flooding or what the government like to call "Ponding". Imma try to stay in bed at all times to stay safe -insets laughing / crying emoji-. 

Oh! Speaking of movies! Please do watch Eddie the Eagle, i know you may not heard of it and it sounds boring af but seriously tho, it's a rather recent movie but set in the past. Really please, gotta watch it. Never thought i'll do it but i cried, at that movie! ;')

Wished i could have gone to Beer & Books & also Dream Job's celebratory party which i already missed during to school but ah well, had fun at Elicia's hen night too! Haven't had such a guilt-free nua session in bed in FOREVER. WELL NEEDED. 

alright, i'm out gotta go work work work work work~  School-work-school-work hen boring leh. 

Need stuff to be do on the weekend man. trapped in cos today's it's really coming down strong outside. Otherwise, the weather hot like ^*&&*&(^@*( 

Kinda wanna leave work, kinda wanna wait for bonus in June. Kinda scared of going out of my comfort zone, my world for the past 3 years. 

Open jio to peeps who wanna go cycling tgt! 

On a another note: Miss the Joanne back in poly who does not give two hoots about what people think / feel / expect of her. Selfish / obnoxious at that sounds : sometimes being heartless is the solution. Now, i think too much, feel too much, care too much. & i definitely overcompensate by putting up a front in front of genuine people who means the world to me that i do not care. 

Countdown 3 weeks to Bali!!! Excited much! Always love going to a place that i've never been to. LOL who am i kidding even when we went to JB for dinner i was excited. i think it's just the feeling of going over immigration / customs and having your passport chopped. 

Such a nua weather i finished my book in bed today heeheee! 

"The sound of rain on rooftops and windowpane is the universe applauding your decision to remain in bed."  Yay, guess who booked her next trip!

I've always believe that good group mates make good travelling partners because there is an assortment of people with different functions & personality that will complement each other. 

At the same time, abit nervous to travel with this group because we're not that closeeeeee, nothing compared to MSP but still exciting!! Glad A is coming along because if it was just the two of us, beach, stars, wind and drinks. 怕我控制不了自己 HAHAHAHAHA

Finally seeing the end towards the current proj and working on a few goals that i will not reveal and only talk abt it if and when i do achieve it. 

Insecurities been eating me up since the S incident & it's like climbing out of a hole you've willingly jumped into. 

Is this growing up? Because right when we're growing up and actually have money to party / drink we find that friends are "living healthy" , "getting better" and are avoiding drinking, so you hide in your room and sip your overpriced , gst-laden greygoose SIGH 

Today's thought of the day : If you're attractive you've already won half the battle. Works for whatever situation you're looking at. Agree? 

Have been meeting up with so many friends recently it's such a nice feeling, catching up. Regular is good but once in a while you gotta catch those who got away somehow. 

One of those sucky feelings : 

Being shitty at something you absolutely love. 

Seeing a close friend being upset but not knowing how to help. 

In a job that you like but pays peanuts. 

Stuck in a job that pays the bills well but sucks the life out of ya. 

Going to watch London has fallen tomorrow!! Excited!! Hope Pam wasn't just getting my hope up hope it really lives up to expectation. 

Still thiinking if i should meet L, i can't stand disappointing people anymore, quite frankly. 

So many things to look forward to this year there's also elicia's wedding woohoo the photoshoot was so tiring but also so awesome i can only expect the wedding to be just the same. Just like my brother's wedding, there's going to be a lot of fussing, strange feelings, happiness, 感动, dancing and joy. I keep saying i need to exercise more and do my skincare stuff BUT WHERE IZ THE MOTIVATION -SOBS- 

Hello! Spent the whole day today listening to old school idol drama theme song hehe feel so nostalgic. Got feel to K now suddenly hehe, i miss singing k with kandy actually haha #random. 

Had  2 days of peace earlier this week after almost suffering from severe anxiety attacks and a heart attack (not literally) , seriously though i'm too lowly paid to be so obsessed with work. Anyway, i know the whole thing about being nice to someone you don't really like is being the bigger person bullshit but honestly sometimes i really really cannot help it. 

Very often i think that when you don't expect something from someone you don't get angry or frustrated when they don't give it to you. Even if it's wrong, even if they're supposed to put in the effort. But if you think this is my job, if someone decides to help me, it's a bonus, if not, i'm all on my own and it's only expected, really. This is how i avoid disappointment. 

I realised that i don't hide emotions very well, even though i try to hide it when i'm upset or frustrated, people pick up vibes i suppose. weird, actually, cos it's not like i'm very smiley usually but Whatever. So anyway A asked if i was really stressed, back story is that A is actually sorta a "boss" even though it's not she's like my sup or manager but really, do you admit to your boss that you're stressed? Is that not a sign of inefficiency or lack of capability? I simply told her that it's my job, stressed also got to do, right - shrugs -. She said she hinted to R about helping out and all. It made me feel so warm inside that i was going to cry right then and there at the individual lunch, quickly pushing the blame to the very hot bowl of ramen (ramen wasn't even spicy tho HAHA). 

It's not like i'm victimising myself, well i sure hope i'm not! But sometimes you take it on yourself to be strong about something, you tell yourself it's no big deal, that others have make it through even worse and you feel ridiculous for your split second of self-pity but when someone else, someone you genuinely like and respect tells you that she's glad to have you on her team (just cos she don't exactly want to be with the other person because they're too close as friends) , that you've done better than expected, that you've proven yourself. all this she tells you - despite this whole time you think you're a burden to them. 这份情感真的很温馨, i don't ask for much, not for praise nor monetary reward, just a little bit of basic respect and recognition that you know what i'm doing is rather difficult, that's all you have to say and i'l work my ass for you - with no complaints. 

Feels good to write these things out here when it's abit to express my thoughts even to my closest with feeling the cheek flushed, the quick squeeze in my heart and the "sour" feeling in the nose. 

YAY okay done! swear my menses is coming sia feeling so emo better not cry during CNY HEH :) 
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