Hello this page only for Me!

It's 2:47 here at Joanne's Crib.

I can't sleep because i'm overwhelmed with how underwhelming a person I can be. Also, because menstrual moodswings.

You see, I'm the kind of person that needs to keep moving, believes strongly in upgrading yourself, being better at whatever it is you are doing or what you are.

I constantly feel like i'm not doing enough, I'm not slim enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not as good as XX colleague, I'm not a good enough student, I'm not a good enough catch for any guy. Everything feels pretty average, and I wanna change everything but then i don't know where to start. Some say you start where most help is needed, ah but my friend, that is the problem, I suck equally everywhere.

Pardon my wimpy 3am self pity party rant but .. idk.

Anyway I recently got this habit whereby when I experience an amazing moment I literally, close my eyes, breath harder and try to "see", hear, smell, feel and absorb the exact moments and kept it in a little happy corner in my mind that i go to when I faced days like these. I think it's a pretty good idea to keep you going , to remind you that there are going to be so many other beautiful moments like these. I don't if you're reading this, you probably wouldn't visualise this moment like i did but i wouldn't mind sharing my fav moments.

(1) Me and L hand-in-hand in the back row of a cinema belting out to Aerosmith. HAHA this is what true love looks like to me and I wanna do it with my future husband till we're 70

(2) Sarah (My best friend at work) driving us back to office, the two of us in our sunnies, literally driving off into the sunset with a great song playing on radio and no other cars with us on the highway.

(3) I was on this carousel-swing thingy at Denmark's Tivoli Gardens and I was top of so many buses and people travelling to work, their loved ones, to commit crimes (who knows?) and I was SO HAPPY and so contented that if the chain broke and I flew off to the yellow brick road below I would not have died happier.

That's it, guys, it's 3am and the tiredness if finally kicking in. Long day tmr, will keep the sadness to another day!



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